One thing I have learned from my job (part-time cashier at a grocery store), is that EVERYONE goes to grocery stores. Even the weird, smelly, and just plain fucked-up people. I would like to share some of my experiences involving these special individuals.

The Shitting Lady
I'm gonna start with the best. This happened a couple months ago, but I'll never ever forget it. I'm ringing through a woman and her baby, when suddenly I smell poop. I ignore it because I figure it's just the baby. Much to my dismay, after they leave I can still smell poop. Then I hear 'CLEANUP AT CASH 9!!!' over the PA. I couldn't see what was going on since it was waaay down at the other end, but I asked

Turns out that some woman picked up a few things, and as she was being rung through, shits. Apparently she was just wearing a skirt so it was a rather messy and horrifying affair. After doing her business she silently left the store as if nothing happened. She was never seen again, but her legacy remains.

Obsessive Card-Slider Man
Short but weird. Whenever this guy comes he constantly runs his debit card through the slot on the machine, from the moment he gets to the cash to when he's ready to bag his groceries. Even after being told it's not necessary. Every time.

Mr. Mix-up
Another regular. He's an elderly gentleman who sometimes stays in the store for up to FOUR HOURS, filling his cart with groceries and then putting everything back in the wrong place. Multiple times.

I have more stories of people like this. If you guys like 'em I'll write more