A Most Fabulous Interview
Another miniature literary piece

Due to my lengthy and fabulous film career, I have been in many interviews. There in one which sticks out in my mind. Precisely twenty three years ago I had appeared on Inside The Actor’s Studio. For no particular reason, the esteemed Christopher Walken was going to interview me. As he proudly entered, I noticed he was without pants. Paying little mind, I straightened my corset and sat attentively, ready for my grilling.

He said to me “You know, I bet I’d look cool in some Fatboy Slim music video. Maybe it could be called ‘Weapon of Choice’. That sounds totally suave.” I merely chuckled and replied, “Ah, but my dear Mister Walken, such a band has yet to exist!”
Immediately Mr. Walken became enraged, picked up his chair and threatened to swing it at me. Luckily an off-screen sniper got him with a dart containing horse tranquillizer, the only thing powerful enough to tame his fiery soul. He slumped back in his chair, a look of pure delirium spreading across his face. Unfortunately at this time Mr Walken was so out of it that he was no longer able to continue the interview. A group of men costumed as The Green Lantern carried him offstage in a hammock and I was on my own.

Terror filled me. Despite what many people think, I have terrible stage-fright. I even think I might have soiled myself, but thank goodness I was wearing Depends. Nevertheless, I had been rendered as unable to preform as Mr. Walken. Soon I too was escorted offstage, this time by a group of children dressed up as various furry animals.